World News: Brain Stem Implant- Good or Evil?

Making headlines these days is an adorable deaf boy named Grayson from where else but Charlotte, NC. Not only have I read the news, many well meaning friends and family members have forwarded articles to me on Facebook, email, and more. I've not responded till now.

First of all, I'm not sure how I feel about it. Is he a cute, absolutely adorable kid reacting to something new to him- sure!!! Are his parents evil for choosing for him have surgery at such a young age- naw. Does everyone want what's best for young Grayson? Surely.

But still it irks me.

I don't know if it's my self-defense of American Sign Language that jumps in, or loyalty to Deaf culture, or something deeper. It's not even my child, so ultimately I have no say so. Still, I think the thing that bothers me is not that he had the surgery but how much the media eats up this kind of thing. "Deaf kid hears parent's voice for the first time!"  (automatic tear-jerker right?) 

Ugh.

Don't get me wrong. Being about to hear isn't a bad thing. But any time this type of article comes up, I automatically wonder- will the parents stop signing? Did they even know to sign with their child from the beginning? It all boils down to: IS VISUAL LANGUAGE AVAILABLE?

Again and again, people think- "Awwww... he has a cochlear, he has a hearing aid, he has a (insert devices/surgery).... that means he's hearing now!"  NO NO NO NO. Devices are imperfect, hearing aids break, surgeries can fail and even then the exterior part is not wearable 100% of the day. I'm not here to make people cry but reality is your child will NEVER be hearing. This is what bothers me- that people keep trying to make their child something they are not- hearing.

Now back to the story of Grayson- his parents use cued speech. Not the same as ASL but at least it's better than no visual language. I hope that Grayson grows to be a charming young man and still has visual language available at all times in addition to his new brain stem device. And MOST of all- that he is loved for who he is- not for what he can and can't do.

Speechless Sunday: Deaf VBS

Not a lot of posts this week- and for good reason! The past week was so much fun at our Deaf VBS (Vacation Bible School).  We ended up having (8) kids all together, split between different nights. We also had a larger number of Deaf adults who wanted to watch (and help :). Altogether it made for a wonderful week.

So this Speech-less Sunday I thought I'd do a short video clip with pictures from Deaf VBS. Enjoy!

Sign Me a Story Event

 

A dear Deaf friend of mine Mrs. Tamara will be teaching a "Sign Me a Story" class this July. I am sooo excited about this since it's hosted at our church Charlotte Deaf Mission at First Baptist Church AND I get to teach crafts (woot!!). We hope everyone will come. The love offering is not mandatory and goes toward Mrs. Tamara's mission trip coming up in October to Haiti! Everyone welcome to come and learn the signs- Deaf, Hearing families, of or just curious people. See you all July 9th!

Testimonial Tuesdays: Deafness and Music

"Music is an outburst of the soul."

            ~Frederick Delius

As you might have noticed, I love music. Which may be considered strange knowing I'm Hard of Hearing and Deaf cultured. 

However I have something truly shocking to tell you. 

Many Deaf people love music too. 

It's true! Now right off let me say- "many" does not mean "all". But "many" does in my opinion indicate a majority. 

Why? How?

Well as we learn about hearing loss, we find that most deaf people (even culturally Deaf people) do have some level of hearing left. Or they were hearing or hard of hearing before becoming totally deaf. 

Even some stone deaf people like music. The beat, the feeling of a bass. 

"Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends."  

             ~Alphonse de Lamartine

Music, much like poetry, has the ability to convey one's deepest feelings. Music is often called "the language of the heart".  It has the ability to change our moods and even our actions. So why would hearing loss change that?

With any type of hearing loss, the sounds one hears is vastly different. Even people with similar losses can "hear" differently based on the way the brain has assimilated and interpreted the sounds. 

When loss is from birth or close to, a person with hearing loss truly believes what they hear is "normal". They never missed out, their hearing has always been what it was. It IS normal. 

For someone with a later loss, they remember songs they used to listen to. 

For stone deaf individuals, the sense of vibrations is most of the time heightened a great deal. A bass drum can be very fun to "listen to" (feel). 

With songs and deafness, trying to create artistic translations and interpretations of music is exciting. It's not an easy task, but it's similar to creating a new poem or a new skit. First we ask ourselves, "What is the basic meaning of the entire song?" "What message is being conveyed?"

Then we consider ASL structure (assuming you're doing an ASL interpretation vs. SEE or other). Since ASL has its own syntax and word order, we must carefully rearrange words from English to ASL. 

Idioms are especially tricky. Again we rely on the general meaning of the idiom to guide us. 

Lastly we work hard to incorporate ASL poetic signs. After all, just like in English, there are everyday words you just would not find in a song. The same is true in ASL. Some words should never be in translations for songs. And ASL has so many beautiful poetic signs! Hearing people play-on rhythms and rhymes. ASL plays-on visual cues, ABCs, and handshapes. As long as it makes sense conceptually and is clear to the message, poetic signs can and should be incorporated into ASL music.

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."

             ~Berthold Auerbach

 It's always fun to see what song is translated next by a deaf/hard of hearing/ or signing hearing friend. Our interpretation make us all unique. So let's celebrate our uniqueness in song.

 

Speech-less Sundays: Father's Day tribute

Happy Father's Day!

Today for Speech-less Sunday I recruited my husband and 2 of our kiddos :)

Excited to share since we're also doing this song together for church today- Father's Day.

Enjoy- Sanctus Real "Lead Me"

Frugal Fridays: Special Occasions

So today the hubs and I are celebrating 11 years of marriage! Wootwoot!

Since we're really broke (just bought a house and all that jazz), I've been trying to figure out a way to celebrate but minus the money.

Here's my frugal tips for special occasions :)

1. Always look for coupons

Restaurants.com, Living Social, Groupon are just a few great places to get food half off or more. We like trying new places and coupons are a wonderful way to  go. And usually they are just enough to feed two.

2. Look for rebates and special offers

We wanted to see a movie but there's nothing we like out on theater. Plus the thought of tossing away $25 on movie tickets, plus popcorn and sodas, etc. just kills me. For 2 hrs of short lived entertainment- ouch. So we found a wonderful deal on Disney MyMovieRewards. $7 coupon off a movie we've been waiting to come out on DVD, snatched it up AND it comes with a free theater ticket for another movie we want to see. $20 on 2 movies- not bad. PLUS it give me just enough MyMovieRewards that I can get a free season of Zorro. Triple win!

3. When no coupons are available- look for specials

If you're not lucky enough to find a coupon for dinner, trying a place that does a 2 for $-- deal. Sometimes you can save money just by getting a 2 for 1.

4. Do something unique but free

Sometimes a date doesn't have to cost a ton. We have several nice greenways, parks, etc. within driving distance that we LOVE to go to even without the kids. Take a bike ride, go fishing, just walk together and enjoy each other's company. Bookstores, museums, art shows are some of the ways we've enjoyed our anniversary for free.

5. Ditch the card and go homemade

My hubs HATES cards. Admittedly so do I. What a waste of trees. However if you are a card person, how much more wonderful is it to get a homemade one! It's super special simply because its lovingly made and one-of-a-kind.

6. Swap childcare with a friend

Now we are super duper blessed to have a wonderful live-in Mother-in-law who loves us and is occasionally willing to watch our kids. But I'm also lucky to have friends who are willing to swap childcare and sometimes friends from church who are just nice enough to watch our kids because they love us. When we can't find someone though we include the kids. Yes is less of a date but still can be fun as long as we are together.

7. Find a frugal gift

Along with that homemade card, do some homemade gifts. They can be as simple as a coupon set made to order- like "free massage redeemable anytime", or "free pass to the disc golf course".

Any way you celebrate, the most important thing is that you are together and Christ is center.

 Here's to a happy 11 years and many many more to come!

Deaf people get crumbs

Boy is my husband right. His most common phrase to use is "Deaf people get crumbs".
And that's no joke.

I know I just wrote about deafness and restaurants so this week seems to be the week of revelations for me.

This week we (kids and I)  got to go to a local museum and I realized something for the very first time. Maybe it had been hidden in my subconscious all along but I'd repressed it. Maybe accepting the truth was too painful. Or maybe I just never knew. But apparently museums have free classes! What?!

Yeah I can hear all you hearing people say- You never knew that? ---NO I didn't!

I always thought that man standing with the iguana was just standing there. And that lady with the sea creatures you can touch- who knew that she was actually telling the kids interesting facts about them!

Deaf people get the crumbs.

Even though ADA has been around since 1990, so few places actually are ADA accommodating. And I understand why but still.... Deaf people get crumbs. Think of all the things we learn by incidental learning. Overheard conversations, or lectures, or classroom settings, or speeches at the museum. The world is swimming with information. And almost none of it is accessible to Deaf people. It's SAD. It's a shame!

Honestly I don't know how to make things better. But with technology something needs to be done. The world has no excuse. It's time to say No more crumbs for Deaf.

Testimonial Tuesdays: Drive-thrus and Deafness

WARNING: Mini rant ahead

Seriously how hard is it to understand the words "I AM DEAF" ????

Okay- so restaurant ordering and deafness seem to be in opposition to one another. The quality of service tends to go down exponentially based on the prices on the menu. Upscale restaurant I might get a nice enough waiter willing to write on a notepad or gesture some. For example waiter signs "you? drink?" (which always is the sign for "alcohol"... poor ignorant hearing people).

But once we get into fast food all bets are off. Usually I get a blank stare or some fool repeating themselves 100 times as if the "I AM DEAF" I just stated evaporated into thin air before hitting their brains.

Now add that to the fact that I have 5 kids and sometimes I would like to just use the drive-thru like everyone else. HAHAHA (can you sense the sarcasm?)

So one day I'm driving through the local chain burger joint. I do the "I AM DEAF" and give my order the best I can (I speak well, just can't hear). They start up the fool thing. 100 repeats of whatever-the-heck- question. I just repeat the I AM DEAF and pull up. Now at the window, if I haven't managed to tick them off (this time I'm lucky), I usually sign while I talk to make my point about the I AM DEAF. So this cashier says- "Oh! I see your hands moving and I know it's not English. Are you speaking Spanish?"

What?!?

 
Now sadly- this is NOT the first time I've been asked this EXACT same thing.  Still I did get a little shocked and tickled all at once. I managed to hold my laughter till I get at least an inch out of the drive-thru to try to not hurt her feelings. Trust me- if I was speaking Spanish you'd be even more confused... if that was possible.

Ahhh I love restaurants and deafness. o-O

Speech-less Sundays: "All My Worship" by Vickie

We have a guest signer today on Deaf-FiningLife blogspot!

Vickie is an amazing profoundly Deaf lady who attends our church. She has agreed to be a guest signer on the blog and will pop up every now and then. I'm so excited to share her song today.

This is how Deaf Worship. Hope you enjoy!

Graduations: Deaf style

The last two days we were blessed to attend 2 graduations of friends in our church.

Such a blessed time!!

But how is graduation different for parents who are Deaf or students who are Deaf/Hard of hearing?  Well for one there's definitely perks!

Interpreters: 

The best of the best

If you live in a town where you're lucky enough to get interpreters for graduation (ADA requires "effective communication" which is tough to define sometimes), then you are BLESSED!

Interpreters ROCK!

And if you are a Hard of Hearing person who doesn't sign- there's always CART (Communication Access Realtime Translation) which basically is like a court transcriber keying everything being said for you to read- NICE!

Front row seating:

 Since Deaf have to use an interpreter to understand what's being said and interpreters usually are near the stage so THEY can hear- well lets say we're right in the front and LOVIN' it!

Technology:

Seriously! What would we do without technology today? 

 Lucky Deaf everywhere have an advantage that our forefathers never even dreamed of- Video Phones, instant- messaging, and more. So while we're in graduation, Big Brother in Indiana gets to watch the whole ceremony via Skype AND watch the interpreters! It was soooo cool!


I love seeing others' life achievements! Blessed!

Frugal Fridays: Recycling kids pants

Every spring things are new. Birds are out, the flowers are blooming, and most of us are spring cleaning. For us pants find new life. Yes I said pants :)

If you're like me you go to your local big name brand store and look around for kids clothes only to find today's styles are hmmm... lacking. Most of the items for girls especially today are either too short, too low, too thin, and too provocative. So what are our girls to do? Wear pants all summer? So here's how we repurpose, recycle, and reuse winter pants!

Step 1: Cut about 2 inches BELOW to desired length

For us desired length is roughly 1 inch below the knee so I usually cut at the top of the calf.

Step 2: Hem

Now the hem on pants can go either rolled two time to the inside or rolled two times to the outside and both ways give a very different look so play around BEFORE you start sewing.

One side rolled inward and one side rolled outward

Step 3: WEAR!

Now the thing to remember is hemming is easier on thinner material. If you try to hem thick fleece or jeans REMEMBER GO SLOW! Or you will break your needle (yeah like any of us would ever do that...doing my best face of Homer Simpson- Doh!)

Step 4: Try it on shirts :)

But remember rolling on shirts is more important than pants. If you roll outward it might look funny- like so:

Ahhh who cares right! They're little girls :)  So save yourself some bucks. Reuse those old winter clothes that are on their last leg, and have fun and enjoy the warm weather!

Large Families and Vacations

We are a family of 8 which in my mind isn't really that big of a family but mainstream America says we are. So a lot of things we do are naturally geared toward "large familying". (I totally made up that word :)

So how are you suppose to go on vacation when the typical hotel room holds 4 people and they charge per person? How can you afford a trip when you have to feed 8 bottomless pits? How in the world can you even step foot in a museum when ticket prices today are more than most people's full day of wages?!?!?

This is how we vacation with a "large family":

Camping out in our massive tents

Yeah we didn't stay here we just toured it with a season pass (which is MUCH cheaper than paying a per day- especially when kids under age 16 are FREEEEEEEE :)

Did you know you can buy a season pass from any AZA or ASTC location and it does reciprocity to ALL other AZA/ ASTC locations in the USA? YES! FREEEEEEEEEEE :)

    And some AZA places have cool petting zoos!

Taking a dip in the lake (included in the cost of camping!)

Free gardens are GORGEOUS!

Nature Trails are Free too!

And they include.... nature!

Hey- it really doesn't take much to entertain and engage young minds. And this was all in one trip. I can't wait to try someplace new!

Check it out!

***For more information about AZA/ASTC check here and here. We shopped around and bought the lowest price yearly pass we could find and use it to go to any zoo or science center on the list in the USA (so far we've been to zoos and museums in NC, SC, GA, TN, AK, TX, and AZ with our (1) membership from here). If you or someone in your family is Deaf, Hard of Hearing, or Disabled you can also get a Golden Access Pass for $10 (processing fee) which allows free access into any National Park or Forest. For more information go here.

Testimonial Tuesdays: ASL vs. Oral debate Part 2 (Public Education)

We homeschool. Why? Well...you'll see reason why below. However we have had our share of public school run-ins. I was a mainstreamed hard of hearing person (before the days of ADA and IDEA laws- yeah I'm old), my husband was mainstreamed with 1 year of homeschool mixed in, and now all of our kids are homeschooled but have had done drive-in services with the public school system in the past for a few years. Plus when I worked for the state of Texas as a Regional Specialist, I got the hmm *joy* of attending IEP meetings with parents of Deaf/Hard of Hearing children in that aspect.

So background- what is an IEP? Individual Education Plan or sometimes goes along with a IFSP- Individualized Family Service Plan is a long paper basically written as a contract between you (or your family) and the school system or organization working with your child (see a comparison between IEPs and IFSP here). It's based on IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act) requirements that "(1) the right to a free appropriate public education, and (2) the right to that education in the least restrictive environment and more. 

Now that's where things get tricky. Who defines what is "appropriate public education"? Who decides what is the "least restrictive environment"?  Sometimes LRE (Least Restrictive Environment) is interpreted as an environment where the deaf/hard of hearing student is with as many "non-disabled" peers as possible (in other words a hearing class). And sometimes LRE is interpreted as being with as many "similar" peers as possible (deaf class).

And as if that wasn't confusing alone, every school in every district (even in the same town) can have conflicting views about what is an "appropriate public education". And who gets to decide what is best for your child? Well let me tell you right off- it ISN'T usually you the parents.

Some places (like where I worked as an advocate in small-town TX) the school officials can be pretty nice. But the negatives are stacked against them (mostly in the form of lack of money= $0000.... So the school often can't afford a qualified interpreter, hearing aids, assistive devices, hiring a Deaf Ed Teacher, assistants, whatever your child may actually require for an "appropriate public education" whether its required by law or not.

Some places (like big city I live in now) can be pretty idiotic. Money might be a small issue but reality is the officials are just plain dumb. They are run by a chairperson who knows nothing about Deafness, they insist that the parents have NO say so in their child's IEP. (can anyone say hello lawsuit?). They love to intimidate and harass the parents of Deaf/Hard of Hearing children to promote their own desire of power. (Oy- breathing in and out)....

So what can YOU as a parent do? First off- Arm yourself. Learn the laws that the public school is bound by. Read IDEA. Read No Child Left Behind. Read ADA. These laws are there for YOU. Yes they are long and boring and make great bed-time material- but read them anyway.

Two- find a group of local moms with children with disabilities (since these laws apply across the disability spectrum) and start up a think tank group. Discuss the laws and how they apply to each family.

Third- fight fight and fight some more for your rights as parents. Your child will be in public school for roughly 18 years. That's a long time. So get ready to stand strong and not back down from what you believe your child needs.

And last- keep in mind- you don't have to public school! Oh yeah I had to put that out there :) Because the public school system sucks in more than one way and yes Homeschooling is great! There's also a whole lot of other options in between public and homeschool so look into your options. Life in this regard is not black and white.

Next week on Testimonial Tuesdays I will actually look more closely at homeschooling Deaf kids. So I know you'll want to stick around!

Also if you have questions about anything I write or forget to add- ASK! I love answering questions and sometimes I'm a dope and forget to talk about the most obvious things. Leave a comment or send me an email anytime! Deaf.FiningLife@gmail.com

Letting God Lead: Family Size

Recently on a mommy board I frequent the topic of Letting God Lead Childbearing was brought up. Then again it's a topic that gets covered pretty frequently when you have 5 kids. I had the opportunity to have an interesting conversation with one mom who is on the fence about letting God lead.

As many of you know, we believe God is sovereign in all things. That includes childbearing. If God can handle the universe in its entirty, He certainly can control how many children we need to have and He will provide for each life He creates.

Often the questions that come up are these:

1. But God gave us a brain to think for ourselves! We should excercise control right?

2. What about finanical strain? Resources? Wouldn't that be unwise to have too many kids?

3. What about our carbon footprint on the earth?

4. Won't mom go crazy having so many kids?

5. My husband and/or I have health issues. What if one of us dies and leaves a bunch of kids behind?

Now first off is this: If a family is not a Christian family none of what I say applies. Because one- if you don't even believe God is who He says He is then all of it is moot point. Isaiah 59:2 says "But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that He will not hear." also Hebews 11:6b "because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him."  You have to believe in Christ before His word and promises can apply to you since you have to believe that He will reward those that earnestly seek Him.

So- are you a believer? Do you believe God's Word is true? If so- keep reading.

Lets look at each point.

God gave us a brain to think for ourselves right?  Yes He did. AND He also gave us an entire book straight from His mouth- the Word of God- the Bible! He says- "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness" (2 Timothy 3:16). So if His word is straight from Him and He is perfect and holy then we can trust every thing He says right?!

So what does He say?

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." Psalms 127: 3-5 

 

"Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers." Proverbs 17:6

Over and over in the bible both the OT and the NT talks about how God blessed one woman after another with children. Never once does He say that a child was a curse! Not once!

But our society treats these blessings as curses or burdens.

Who is the author of Life? Is it not God the creator of all things? And what He has made is good.

So- second- financial strain. Is it unwise or being a bad steward if you have many children especially with today's rising financial costs?

Let's look at this. If we admit God is the author of Life, God calls all children a blessing. Then is it conceivable that God would care for the life He created?

  Matthew 6:25-27 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?"

Matthew 6:20 " But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal."

Nothing in this life is worth anything except Christ's eternal life; His gift to us. All other things are as King Solomon declared in Ecclesiastes- meaningless. So though being a good steward IS important, it's more important to trust and obey God and let Him show you His goodness and ability.

Thirdly- carbon footprints. Ahhh today's generation. I do so love the return to hippyland we've began to see happening. Now don't get me wrong. Even my husband calls ME a hippie since we cloth diaper, and garden, and various other green things. However being 100% green in this time and culture is virtually impossible. We each do our part. So when people use the carbon footprint argument against having many kids, worrying about overpopulation, I simply want to laugh. Today fewer and fewer people are having children. In fact there are fewer people being born than dying. And it all comes back to who is the author of Life- God is. He can control population booms. Besides giving over childbearing to God does not automatically mean you will have 20 kids. God opens and closes the womb.

In the fourth argument: won't mom go crazy handling 2, 3, 4, 5, or more kids? I hear this so often. Then again the end part changes to match whatever part of your life people think is crazy- having lots of kids, homeschooling, homebirthing, you name it. Reality is God created most women to be mothers. He gave us each amazing abilities to teach, train, and raise young ones. God gave Dads different though just as vital abilities. When we live in God's perfect plan (mom and dad united, equally yoked as Christians, etc) then God makes the union a success. At the same time, we are sinful people and we live in a fallen world. Too often we mess up God's plan for families. We rush to get married (maybe to the wrong person or someone not saved) or even worse have children before we marry. We divorce for so many reasons (some reasons Biblically approved and some not). These are often the reason for issues in raising kids. Its our sinfulness and not God's imperfection that causes problems in the home. But for those who cling to His grace and mercy He give us the ability to raise Godly children in the way of the Lord.

Isaiah 54:13  "All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children."

Last of all, there is a great amount of fear in the hearts of even believers. The fear of health issues and death. When I was chatting with the lady on the mommy board, her main concern was her husband's health and what if they had more kids, then he died. Who would care for her and the children?

One could also argue what about mom's health? What if having more children puts her life at risk? This is a typical argument for abortions (which I won't cover today but maybe in the future).

Reality is any of us could die or lose a job or lose our home, etc at any time. Even what control we think we have is just perceived. It's hard to live life that way (what ifs). I'm not talking devil-may-care attitude but at the same time, we often confess with our mouths that God is in control/sovereign but we don't let Him be those in our lives. None of us know what the future holds. 

It reminds me of a well meaning friend of ours. About 7 years ago when we got pregnant with our second. They had 3 and were done. The husband told me I should stop soon having kids because what if my husband died and I was stuck with all these kids to care for. It stuck in my head for a long time. But what IF I did live my life based on what ifs. I wouldn't have my other 3 lovely kids, I wouldn't have lost 3 babies to miscarriage, but I wouldn't have grown and learned and become more empathetic. I wouldn't have the house full of laughter, my daughter would never had her sisters, and my son wouldn't have his best buddy brother. My point is- we just have to live like we believe God at His word- He will take care of tomorrow.

Romans 8:38-39 "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (emphasis mine)

And if God is with us- all is well. So let Him lead.

Speech-less Sundays: 5 Little Monkeys ASL story

Today for Speech-less Sunday I have two videos for you!

First off I did the story 5 Little Monkeys which is an adaptation of "8 Silly Monkeys" a popular kids book.

The second video is actually a combination video. My older Deaf daughter, Katie, age 6 did her translation of the story (3 Silly Monkeys) then my middle Deaf daughter, Ayrianna, age 5 decided to tell her version. I love seeing the differences in personality, perspective, and of course signing skills. Amazing how a child can grow up in the exact same home and come out vastly different whether they are hearing or Deaf!

Well enough Speech! On with Speech-less Sunday!