Letting God Lead: Family Size

Recently on a mommy board I frequent the topic of Letting God Lead Childbearing was brought up. Then again it's a topic that gets covered pretty frequently when you have 5 kids. I had the opportunity to have an interesting conversation with one mom who is on the fence about letting God lead.

As many of you know, we believe God is sovereign in all things. That includes childbearing. If God can handle the universe in its entirty, He certainly can control how many children we need to have and He will provide for each life He creates.

Often the questions that come up are these:

1. But God gave us a brain to think for ourselves! We should excercise control right?

2. What about finanical strain? Resources? Wouldn't that be unwise to have too many kids?

3. What about our carbon footprint on the earth?

4. Won't mom go crazy having so many kids?

5. My husband and/or I have health issues. What if one of us dies and leaves a bunch of kids behind?

Now first off is this: If a family is not a Christian family none of what I say applies. Because one- if you don't even believe God is who He says He is then all of it is moot point. Isaiah 59:2 says "But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that He will not hear." also Hebews 11:6b "because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him."  You have to believe in Christ before His word and promises can apply to you since you have to believe that He will reward those that earnestly seek Him.

So- are you a believer? Do you believe God's Word is true? If so- keep reading.

Lets look at each point.

God gave us a brain to think for ourselves right?  Yes He did. AND He also gave us an entire book straight from His mouth- the Word of God- the Bible! He says- "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness" (2 Timothy 3:16). So if His word is straight from Him and He is perfect and holy then we can trust every thing He says right?!

So what does He say?

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." Psalms 127: 3-5 

 

"Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers." Proverbs 17:6

Over and over in the bible both the OT and the NT talks about how God blessed one woman after another with children. Never once does He say that a child was a curse! Not once!

But our society treats these blessings as curses or burdens.

Who is the author of Life? Is it not God the creator of all things? And what He has made is good.

So- second- financial strain. Is it unwise or being a bad steward if you have many children especially with today's rising financial costs?

Let's look at this. If we admit God is the author of Life, God calls all children a blessing. Then is it conceivable that God would care for the life He created?

  Matthew 6:25-27 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?"

Matthew 6:20 " But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal."

Nothing in this life is worth anything except Christ's eternal life; His gift to us. All other things are as King Solomon declared in Ecclesiastes- meaningless. So though being a good steward IS important, it's more important to trust and obey God and let Him show you His goodness and ability.

Thirdly- carbon footprints. Ahhh today's generation. I do so love the return to hippyland we've began to see happening. Now don't get me wrong. Even my husband calls ME a hippie since we cloth diaper, and garden, and various other green things. However being 100% green in this time and culture is virtually impossible. We each do our part. So when people use the carbon footprint argument against having many kids, worrying about overpopulation, I simply want to laugh. Today fewer and fewer people are having children. In fact there are fewer people being born than dying. And it all comes back to who is the author of Life- God is. He can control population booms. Besides giving over childbearing to God does not automatically mean you will have 20 kids. God opens and closes the womb.

In the fourth argument: won't mom go crazy handling 2, 3, 4, 5, or more kids? I hear this so often. Then again the end part changes to match whatever part of your life people think is crazy- having lots of kids, homeschooling, homebirthing, you name it. Reality is God created most women to be mothers. He gave us each amazing abilities to teach, train, and raise young ones. God gave Dads different though just as vital abilities. When we live in God's perfect plan (mom and dad united, equally yoked as Christians, etc) then God makes the union a success. At the same time, we are sinful people and we live in a fallen world. Too often we mess up God's plan for families. We rush to get married (maybe to the wrong person or someone not saved) or even worse have children before we marry. We divorce for so many reasons (some reasons Biblically approved and some not). These are often the reason for issues in raising kids. Its our sinfulness and not God's imperfection that causes problems in the home. But for those who cling to His grace and mercy He give us the ability to raise Godly children in the way of the Lord.

Isaiah 54:13  "All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children."

Last of all, there is a great amount of fear in the hearts of even believers. The fear of health issues and death. When I was chatting with the lady on the mommy board, her main concern was her husband's health and what if they had more kids, then he died. Who would care for her and the children?

One could also argue what about mom's health? What if having more children puts her life at risk? This is a typical argument for abortions (which I won't cover today but maybe in the future).

Reality is any of us could die or lose a job or lose our home, etc at any time. Even what control we think we have is just perceived. It's hard to live life that way (what ifs). I'm not talking devil-may-care attitude but at the same time, we often confess with our mouths that God is in control/sovereign but we don't let Him be those in our lives. None of us know what the future holds. 

It reminds me of a well meaning friend of ours. About 7 years ago when we got pregnant with our second. They had 3 and were done. The husband told me I should stop soon having kids because what if my husband died and I was stuck with all these kids to care for. It stuck in my head for a long time. But what IF I did live my life based on what ifs. I wouldn't have my other 3 lovely kids, I wouldn't have lost 3 babies to miscarriage, but I wouldn't have grown and learned and become more empathetic. I wouldn't have the house full of laughter, my daughter would never had her sisters, and my son wouldn't have his best buddy brother. My point is- we just have to live like we believe God at His word- He will take care of tomorrow.

Romans 8:38-39 "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (emphasis mine)

And if God is with us- all is well. So let Him lead.